Hmm let's see, nothing too eventful has happened since my last post. I'm still applying everywhere I can, especially now with places hiring for the holidays. I am now exercizing the theory that it's better to have a job over the holidays than none at all...haha. Maybe if I can find a place to work at for the holidays, w hen an opening pops up that isn't temp, the company could hire me back if they liked me. =] This is what I am hoping for right now, at any rate.

Hmm. Rachel and I are doing a halloween party and also making it Nathan's surprise birthday party dealio. Just gotta finish cleaning the kitchen and we're set... =] Should be fun. Got our costumes and everything.

Soon as we finish cleaning from that and then we finish the two bedrooms downstairs, we're getting a puppy! =D I'm not the only one taking advantage of me being home a lot, haha.

School is going well, got my loans finally. Too bad they won't last me all too long, stupid bills. But they are helping right now. Just need to get my car fixed and I'll be set for a while.

<3

I'm very upset right now.

I've applied to somewhere near 20 jobs so far, and haven't received a single call back. Not only is this frustrating, but it's a problem. Even places with "hiring" signs haven't called me. I don't know if people better suited for the jobs applied first or what, but I *need* a job.

And not only that...they pushed back the date I get my student loans. Again. Originally, it was within a week of paying off the tuition due to the college. Then the week of the 22nd of September. And now it's the middle to end of October. I took those out because I needed them, as I'm sure everyone else who took them out does. So it's quite frustrating me that they keep pushing back when I get them. I need that money for, oh, I don't know, school things? Like when I'm supposed to buy a toy for Human Growth and Development or some food from McDonald's for a project in stats? I'm so pissed. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

It's a bad combination of things. I can't keep living off of nothing and occasionally the donations of those around me. But really...what can I do now?

='-(

So Saturday we got new phones. =] They're very cool, Samsung's Alias2. I love it. =D We also looked at puppies at bit; we came to the conclusion we're gonna get this place cleaned up before we get one though.

Today we went out with his grandmother and ate lunch at a cute little diner. I was very surprised she remembered who I was. It was fun. Then we went next door to look at pets again, and found some very sweet parrots. Not going to lie, if his birds were as friendly as those, I'd probably like them. Haha. Also bought Kaycee an over-the-door toy filled with Catnip. He's going in between going nuts with it and coming back in here to bother us. He's very lonely; I feel really bad for him. =\

Classes are going well so far. Aced a paper in my Human Growth & Development class. Pretty happy about that. =D

Other than that, not really much in the way of news. Yay for boringness!

Have you ever felt more alive when you cry? It could just be one of the weird quirks about me, but I definately feel that way right now. Perhaps it's because I know why I am crying and that I have every right to be sad. Maybe it's because it's making me feel human, chasing away the worry I had that this wouldn't bother me at all.

Whatever it is, I'm glad I am.

I will miss all of you, especially you, Miss Calla. <3 And if your parents don't stop making "good friend" comments, I might just cry until the end of the century. I love you. =]

I swear I will start my homework right after this entry. <3

God never gives a challenge we can't handle. He doesn't put a roadblock in our way that we cannot overcome...and he doesn't put people in our lives for no reason.

This is mind, I hope His reasons for this is far better than I can see. It's times like these I really wish I could see the big picture, and what she's supposed to be to me. 

Because I honestly don't get it. And I am honestly quite lost. I tire of these games, and at this point I have put my hands in the air, a white flag in both, and given up.

I feel that's all I can do.

And maybe, just maybe, that's what I've been driven to do.

Someday He'll let me know about this. I trust in Him. Until then, though, I'm going to keep wondering and poking at the festering wound in my heart. So if I am more emotional than normal, please, bear with me. Eventually I'll get better.

On another subject...I think I might be falling harder than I first thought I might. And I'm not quite sure how to go about it.

I had today off, so Nathan and I went out to eat and walked the promenade in Havre de Grace. It's so beautiful out here- I can't wait til my family and friends come out here. I love it. So excited to show people around! =D

Yesterday was my first day of Biology and Statistics. The good news is that the teachers didn't intimidate me about my chosen major, haha. My biology teacher actually intimidated me on the swine flu-Joy. Guess it's supposed to hit people under the age of 25 hard. But it's not deadly anymore, just a really serious flu. Can't wait until I get it...because you know I will. But her class is one that has the option of being an online class, so me missing Friday won't be a huge deal. Thank God. My Statistics teacher seems really friendly and down-to-earth, so I'm going to have no problem going to him when my silly brain can't comprehend what we learn. I'm only missing notes in there, and I can go grab those on Monday. =] w00t w00t.

Tomorrow after my Human Growth and Development class I get to leave to go back to Iowa for Miz Calla's wedding. Yay! Can't wait for the 17 hour drive. O.o at least I know the way(ish) now. I'll arrive somewhere around 4 or 5 in the morning on Friday. Then we do our thang for the wedding... and I drive back on Sunday. Then on Monday I am going to tackle the kitchen out here; do the dishes, rearrange everything, make it look really nice. I think I might do before and after pictures this time, haha. Rachel is staying home and helping me. That should make things a lot easier.

I am really excited for this wedding! It's going to be so beautiful. I'll be standing up there, trying not to cry as my BFF marries her man. =] I am so happy for them! I wish them eternal happiness. <3

Anyway. Think that's all for now. ily all! <3

Today was my first day of school. Woo. My teacher managed to scare the living daylights out of me about the nursing program. I guess that since Cecil has one of the best nursing programs out here, it's extremely, extremely competitive. Probably something I should have known, right? Heh. You get a "C" in a class that is a pre-requisite to nursing, guess what? Gotta retake it and get at least a B. And sometimes, a B won't cut it. I'm nervous beyond belief. I can only hope I am intelligent enough to actually go through with this. :x

In the past three days, I have applied at 7 places. Two gas stations (Wawa and Royal Farms), two inns (Holiday Inn and Comfort Inn & Suites), Wal*Mart, Rite Aid and Walgreens. Let's hope something comes through, right? I'm currently hoping for one of the inns, because if I get a front desk position I could probably work on homework when I'm not helping someone. That would be perfect, imo. =]

I cleaned the bathroom today. Step one of Operation Get-This-House-Decent is complete. It's probably the cleanest room in the whole house right now...hah. Go me!

Slowly trying to get the birds here to like me. Got bit by the parakeet yesterday; I held her three times yesterday and then must've spooked her on the third time because she bit me. She's scared to death of me at the moment. But I'm sorry, if I have to live in a house with birds when I *hate* birds, they will be tame and they will like me. Period.

Not so much looking forward to the drive back to Iowa for the wedding. But hey, it's what I get. What I'm dreading more than that is bringing Kaycee out here. Even with the anti-anxiety pills, I'm worried. Last thing I need is a 17-hour non-stop headache machine that's batteries will not run out and then shut off; just get hoarse and thus more annoying. >.< Meh, such is life.

Well, time to stop procrastinating and get the homework done. <3

 

( Part One of Chapter 1 )

 

I have a little more after this, but it's not enough to post up yet. when I finish chapter one, it'll go on here as well. :) Comments are most welcome, whether they are dealing with spelling, grammar, descriptions etc. Just bombard me with stuffs! :)

I gots a new wallpaper fromsweetgirl7808. It's cute! :-D